Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome

I've come to a few conclusions while I sat down to do this post. . My new years resolution of caring less about what people think is not as easy as I presumed it would be. I mean knew it'd be hard, but it's actually a lot harder than I assumed. I have this fear that writing a post directly concerning health and a diagnosis with what's going on will be interpreted as my asking for attention and hugs or that I'm completely overreacting and acting like a child – neither of which are true. The fact of the matter is that I blog for myself. Writing lets me escape and be free for at least a few moments and whether it’s by some creepy old man sitting in front of his old school computer on a rickety desk in Timbuktu or my friends I'm heard and honestly that's all that matters.

About a week ago I was diagnosed with Superior Mesenteric Artery (SMA) Syndrome. If you know me at all you shouldn’t be surprised that this is something rare. I actually laughed when the doctor said that, I mean of course it is. I think I would have been offended if this was a normal thing like acid reflux or something. Normal disorders are for the uncomplicated and the fact that it takes me at least ten minutes to decide between a Caesar salad with or without chicken lets you know I am far from normal, or decisive, or uncomplicated.

I don’t really know how to explain the syndrome because I don’t exactly understand it. But I'm going to try and explain it to the best of my abilities. The starting issue is that my duodenum is narrowing. This means that I'm not gaining as much weight as I should be in-correlation to what I'm eating (every girls dream, right?). This also means that the artery that goes behind my stomach and out onto my intestines is compressed and dealing with more stress than it should be which is changing its angle. When the angle between the superior mesenteric vessels and the aorta is lower than 18° you have SMA Syndrome. I had an MRA, which is an MRI of your arteries done yesterday and those results determine what the next steps are. A lovely side effect is that I also have the energy levels of a 90 year old now. As soon as I step out of bad I'm ready for a nap. And I've been a running a fever for about a week but I like to think that's because I'm just so hot. -- cue chuckle, smirk and eye roll --


The good, the bad, the mediocre. The good thing about this is that I can eat popcorn with chocolate chips and a chocolate banana milkshake for dinner without being judged or reprimanded or even thinking about my "spring break perfect Victoria Secret model body". Everyone is pushing for me to gain weight (not happening) because if I do get sick I will drop them like a snake shedding skin. Translation? I can be a junk food fanatic piggy and be okay with it. The bad. There's a possibility of a bypass surgery if the angle of my artery isn't good. A sentence with surgery + bypass + myself doesn't really tickle my fancy, it quite honestly scares the pa-tooey out of me. My reaction to those sentences lately are either tears, a joke, quick changing of the subject or being quiet and contemplative, none of which are at all me. The mediocre is that mom found a great surgeon at Wake Forest who we're sending my charts to on Monday. This should probably be in the "good" section but once again, surgery isn't something that I view as "good". Having someone who knows what they're doing on your side is always a plus especially since my doctor left me high and dry as he's left the country on a three week vacation with no one covering him (feel free to mutter some mean thing in his direction).

I wrote this post for a few reasons. Being heard and having something in writing are the forerunners. This will make it harder for me to push away everyone I love most which is something I seem to always do when I think they could end up hurting. It both makes zero and absolute sense at the same time. The other reason was to try and persuade y'all to participate in the national awareness day for SMA Syndrome which is tomorrow (the 28th). I personally like to refer to it as "wear something purple day". No one's going to ask why you're wearing people and goodness know I'll never even know if you really did but I will say while you're sitting there try to pick something to match your fabulous leopard wedges or cute little flats with a bow go for the purple blouse. . or dress. . or hair bow. . or button down and tie (for my male readers, if you exist). A little hope and well wishing, or in this case a little purple, can really go a long way.

Now that I'm exhausted I'll bid you all adieu. I have a cute little puppy waiting to snuggle.

Think purple!

Ciao darlings! xoxox