03 June 2012

Fireflies

Let me quickly begin with an apology for my blogging absence. A lot has happened since I've moved so it's not that I haven't had anything to write about but rather I just haven't felt any inspiration to write. Moving here has been a strange experience full of ups and downs. . ups and downs seeming to be a underlying theme to my life since October. I've managed to both gain and lose great friends. Some people who I never thought I would be without I've lost with new friends now filling those spaces. I am grateful for where my life is but I would be crazy to say that I don't slightly miss parts of the way things were.

Moving has made me notice the little things more. I've reached the conclusion that throughout life we come across certain things -- mostly ordinary things -- that acquire some sort of significance to us. I've noticed the influence these ordinary things can have, the tipping point of this realization being a mere firefly. These little bugs manage to hold quite a few memories for me. . Some happy but others dark. I haven't come across their familiar glow in ages due to my lack of Pennsylvania summers and I actually almost forgot how magical they appear. This helps explain my utter surprise when I saw a flashing yellow light floating across the field while taking Eevah out at one evening. Needless to say my childish instincts came out and across the field we ran until the little creature was safe in my hands. But all of a sudden the smile disappeared, happiness faded and the awful memories flooded back and I'm left wondering how this little bug can have such an impact on someone so much bigger than it.

But the thing is it's not only with fireflies and it doesn't only happen to me. It's hearing a song and being transported back to dancing around, a movie that makes you think of some life decision that you've made, a shot of whiskey or a glass of wine. . It's all of those little things that transport us back to somewhere else.

Whether they make you laugh, cry or just smile to yourself these ordinary things are not ordinary at all. We all have our own special memories and moving has made me face some things -- like fireflies -- that I never would have before. And I'll be honest, I'm actually looking forward to catching another one next time it gets dark out.