26 June 2014

Sorry, I'm Done Being Sorry

The last few months have been full of many changes here in the Hajner home and throughout all of them I'm come to a realization.

Personally, I've started to realize I'm that "sorry" person. Chances are I won't stick up to you if you say something I find offensive, or if you just simply hurt my feelings. But in the off chance that I do? I'm more than likely to say "sorry" in order to avoid a fight or mend emotions so things can get back to normal. It's not healthy.  It's not ok.  And I'm stopping it.  I can sit here and always continue to mend things so they're good in the moment, but no one is really winning in that situation.  Everyone is basing their feelings and emotions on a fragile bridge that's being held together by some very old nails and string.  It is very likely that a big gust of wind is going to come and that bridge isn't going to be able to hold and then everyone is sitting there wondering what happened.

I can count more than 5 serious situations where I have said sorry when I had no reason to be -- and genuinely didn't believe it -- but simply to mend the situation. I still harbor hurt feelings and some bitterness from those.  You look around at Pinterest quotes and all you see is to keep your head on straight and to hold your tongue, because everything passes over time and no one wants to be the person stirring the pot.

There's also a difference between being that woman who will never see that they did something wrong and never apologizes and being someone who consistently over apologizes. I have a few apologizes I need to get out there, but I also have some situations that I'm walking away from.  All relationships take work to maintain and thrive. You can't expect to have a meaningful relationship with someone if you're not willing to admit any mistakes you may have made.  Life is too short to not only regret how you treat other people, but also how you treat yourself.

17 June 2014

My Favorite Day -- The Flower Fields

When we first moved here I heard about a place called The Flower Fields. As someone who loves flowers and has going to the lavender and tulip fields on my bucket list, this was just far too wonderful to pass up. 

It took five separate weekends of having planned to go to the fields, and then things kept coming up and it just got pushed further and further back. We thankfully were able to go before they closed Mother's Day Weekend and had such a wonderful day! Nic is truly a wonderful man who not only "deals" with what I like to do, but actually enjoys it. The fields are now closed but I cannot recommend them more to people for next year. We stopped at Whole Foods on the way and packed a little picnic lunch. 

Right as we were about to make the turn to get back on the freeway to head home I saw a sign for pick your own strawberries and freaked out. Nic somehow managed to get in the other lane, make a probably illegal u-turn, and before we knew it we were over paying to get a large container of strawberries. It was nothing like our strawberry picking experiences from Pennsylvania (the strawberries were raised, and we paid $20 for that bucket -- which is absurd) but it was wonderful and the perfect end to a perfect day. 

And then we saw a pick your own strawberry patch on our way home and nearly died. The last time we picked strawberries together we 

02 June 2014

Just be {June Directive}

I absolutely love being apart of Kate & Trudy's 2014 Directive, and in the beginning of the year I was doing really really well at it. And then in the same fashion as almost all new years resolutions, I fell off my shelf and have stunk at it. In order to get back into it, and feel like less of a failure when I log on and see I've accomplished none of last months goals, I'm deeming June the month to
just be. 

Life has been pretty hectic around here for the last few months. We've had visitors who've gone undocumented on this blog, trips, and just hanging around. It's honestly been wonderful. But for some reason I just haven't been able to sit down and get the motivation to blog about it. My writing voice has disappeared and the 10 posts which just need a little help to get finished have sat in the draft folder for months. 

In order to get out of this rut I'm just going to be and do me for the month. Our wedding anniversary was yesterday -- I cannot believe this -- and we were able to take a trip and recharge away from everything. It's amazing what spending time in the wilderness without really paying attention to your phone and without having to worry about the dogs can do. So instead of saying I want to post at least 6 times this month, and try new recipes, and just be a better blogger, I'm going to be a better me. It's easy to hit the goals of walking the dogs and relaxing, it's the blogging goals that just become daunting and more of a hindrance.  Hopefully I'll find the motivation to get my voice back without them.

And because I can't seem to end this without having some light "goals" for this month these are the easy low-key things I've come up with. These make us happy and aren't full of pressure so I feel like they're perfect for the feel of the month. 

Go on a new hike around San Diego 
Spend some time at the beach 

01 June 2014

One Year

I've been married to this wonderful man for exactly one year. I've never felt luckier or more loved. I can't wait to see what else is in store for us.

Life is wonderful.