26 June 2014

Sorry, I'm Done Being Sorry

The last few months have been full of many changes here in the Hajner home and throughout all of them I'm come to a realization.

Personally, I've started to realize I'm that "sorry" person. Chances are I won't stick up to you if you say something I find offensive, or if you just simply hurt my feelings. But in the off chance that I do? I'm more than likely to say "sorry" in order to avoid a fight or mend emotions so things can get back to normal. It's not healthy.  It's not ok.  And I'm stopping it.  I can sit here and always continue to mend things so they're good in the moment, but no one is really winning in that situation.  Everyone is basing their feelings and emotions on a fragile bridge that's being held together by some very old nails and string.  It is very likely that a big gust of wind is going to come and that bridge isn't going to be able to hold and then everyone is sitting there wondering what happened.

I can count more than 5 serious situations where I have said sorry when I had no reason to be -- and genuinely didn't believe it -- but simply to mend the situation. I still harbor hurt feelings and some bitterness from those.  You look around at Pinterest quotes and all you see is to keep your head on straight and to hold your tongue, because everything passes over time and no one wants to be the person stirring the pot.

There's also a difference between being that woman who will never see that they did something wrong and never apologizes and being someone who consistently over apologizes. I have a few apologizes I need to get out there, but I also have some situations that I'm walking away from.  All relationships take work to maintain and thrive. You can't expect to have a meaningful relationship with someone if you're not willing to admit any mistakes you may have made.  Life is too short to not only regret how you treat other people, but also how you treat yourself.

1 comment :