Changes

A few months ago my husband made a decision for himself and our little, but perfect, family.  Since then a lot of changes have been going on in our lives from the small and simple things to the bigger.

Everyone says you find out who your true friends are in tough situations, and that has been nothing but the truth.  We've been truly blessed with the chance to learn who our true friends are verses those who were just there because of situational convenience. I'll be honest and say thats been the hardest thing for me. I never thought we would experience shitty friends in this lifestyle, but they were there all the same.    True friends are friends no matter what you do in life, if not doing something anymore means you're no longer a friend, obviously there was not trueness in the friendship to begin with.  We are grateful for those who have been there for us the last few months; we appreciate you all more than you know.

All of the changes have brought about some much needed time spent together.  We've been able to just sit and re-prioritize our lives and what's important not only to us as a team, but also us individually.  I'm a hopeless romantic and often find my head up in the clouds and it seems I married my perfect counterpart who's the same.

As for the news; Nic's now the gunno on the USS Preble and we're moving to Oahu in August! We honestly cannot be more excited!

Aloha.

While I hate reading little notes pre and post blog posts, I do feel like it's necessary to add one with this.  Every relationship both in and out of the military are different and therefore need different things. This blog has always been a space for me to share our experiences as well as keep family and friends updated on things that are going on.  Please respect his decision, and now our decision, to share this with everyone. 

Sorry, I'm Done Being Sorry

The last few months have been full of many changes here in the Hajner home and throughout all of them I'm come to a realization.

Personally, I've started to realize I'm that "sorry" person. Chances are I won't stick up to you if you say something I find offensive, or if you just simply hurt my feelings. But in the off chance that I do? I'm more than likely to say "sorry" in order to avoid a fight or mend emotions so things can get back to normal. It's not healthy.  It's not ok.  And I'm stopping it.  I can sit here and always continue to mend things so they're good in the moment, but no one is really winning in that situation.  Everyone is basing their feelings and emotions on a fragile bridge that's being held together by some very old nails and string.  It is very likely that a big gust of wind is going to come and that bridge isn't going to be able to hold and then everyone is sitting there wondering what happened.

I can count more than 5 serious situations where I have said sorry when I had no reason to be -- and genuinely didn't believe it -- but simply to mend the situation. I still harbor hurt feelings and some bitterness from those.  You look around at Pinterest quotes and all you see is to keep your head on straight and to hold your tongue, because everything passes over time and no one wants to be the person stirring the pot.

There's also a difference between being that woman who will never see that they did something wrong and never apologizes and being someone who consistently over apologizes. I have a few apologizes I need to get out there, but I also have some situations that I'm walking away from.  All relationships take work to maintain and thrive. You can't expect to have a meaningful relationship with someone if you're not willing to admit any mistakes you may have made.  Life is too short to not only regret how you treat other people, but also how you treat yourself.